


Stupid Autobot

by charivari



Series: Riptide/Lotty Ship of Dorkiness [1]
Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One)
Genre: Bubbles - Freeform, F/M, Relationship Advice, Riptide is a dork, Riptide the friend Ravage never wanted, Secret Crush, Smice, Stupidity, Trails feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-21
Updated: 2015-08-21
Packaged: 2018-04-16 10:46:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4622436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charivari/pseuds/charivari
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Riptide has a crush. Ravage does NOT want to help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stupid Autobot

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Insecuriosity](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Insecuriosity/gifts).



> For Insec, 
> 
> It's not quite Riptide/Velocity but it's full of Riptide being a dork XD
> 
> <3

“Oi Ravage,” Riptide shouted at the symbiont down the hall, “Wait up!”

Ravage let out a low growl. The stupid hydrobot persisted in engaging him in conversation. He could have run. But that would seem cowardly. Plus Riptide might mistake it for a game and chase after him.

Instead Ravage waited until he screeched to a halt in front of him.

“Hey buddy,” he hunkered down with a grin.

“I am not your buddy,” Ravage growled.

The hydrobot surprised him by placing a servo on his brow.

“How are your vitals? Good? No emergency warnings on your HUD?”

Ravage was taken aback. So much so he didn’t take a swipe at Riptide for touching him.

“How long has it been since your last checkup?” Riptide continued, “Didja even have one when you arrived on the ship?”

Ravage came to his senses and batted his servo away with a snarl. Friendly or not, he didn’t like being subjected to questioning.

“I don’t see how that’s any of your business.”

Riptide, for some unfathomable reason, seemed pleased by his response.

“Aggression. That’s probably a symptom of something. Let’s get you to the medibay.”

The stupid creature actually attempted to scoop him up.

Ravage jumped backwards with a hiss.

“I’m not going to the medibay you idiot. There’s nothing wrong with me. You, on the other hand, are severely addled in the processor. Especially if you think I’m going to let you pick me up like a pet turbofox.”

If there was one thing Ravage hated it was being treated like a mechanimal. The purple femme was the worst offender, always trying to pet him.

Riptide answered with a large pout,

“Aw c’mon Ravage. It’s just a little checkup. Velocity will give you an energon stick afterwards.”

Ravage didn’t fail to notice the quiver in Riptide’s EM field at the last part.

“Oh I see what this is about,” he said slyly, “You have a crush on the new medic.”

Instead of denial, a dreamy look crossed over Riptide’s faceplates.

“Her helm is shaped like a star,” he sighed, “And she’s blue.”

“So?” Ravage drawled.

Riptide frowned. He gesticulated at himself,

“I’m blue.”

Ravage rolled his optics.

“Well that certainly makes you intellectually and emotionally compatible.”

Riptide huffed,

“I’m not shallow. She’s also nice and smart.”

“So the opposite of you,” Ravage quipped.

Riptide scowled,

“Hey I’m smice.”

“Smice?”

“Smart and nice,” Riptide elaborated with a smile, “I combined them. Pretty clever huh?”

“Clever?” Ravage intoned, “Was it clever when you stood up at Brainstorm’s trial in response to building a time machine?”

“I genuinely misheard the question," Riptide protested, "I thought it was ‘stand up if you ever built a fully-functioning machine’. Which I have.”

“And what, pray tell, did this machine do?” Ravage disguised his curiosity with monotone.

Riptide ducked his chin towards his chest sheepishly,

“Itmadebubbles,”

“Sorry what?”

“It made bubbles,” Riptide repeated more loudly, “It was a bubble machine.”

It was extremely rare for Ravage to laugh. But he couldn’t resist sniggering, much to Riptide’s annoyance.

“What? I like bubbles okay.”

Ravage managed to rein in his amusement,

“I hate to break it to you. But a bubble machine is hardly on par with a time machine.”

“I beg to differ,” Riptide said snidely, “Anyway the fact I built a machine proves I’m smart.”

“To a certain degree,” Ravage conceded, “But you also have a penchant for mockery and pranks. I recall you mocking my sense of smell on the alternate Lost Light.”

“Aw, are you still sore about that?” Riptide beamed at him, “Let it go, Ravs, we’re buddies now.”

“We’re not buddies,” Ravage reiterated, “And don’t call me Ravs. What’s more, you tricked an overcharged Trailcutter into breaking into the medibay to steal Megatron’s ‘super fuel’.”

“Which lead to him being permanently sobered up by Megatron and appointed head of security."

Before Ravage could respond, the hydrobot’s shoulders slumped.

“Poor Trails.”

He could only be referring to his unfortunate demise. Ravage was taken aback by the display of grief. He wasn’t sure what to say.

“So I’m a little susceptible to mischief,” Riptide went on sadly, “That doesn’t make me a bad guy. Does it?”

He looked at Ravage with a pitiful expression.

“I suppose not,” the symbiont found himself saying, “You’re hardly the worst mech on the ship in that regard.”

“Really?” Riptide’s mouth quirked.

“Yes,” Ravage sighed, “But it doesn’t make you any less stupid for wanting to drag me to the medibay.”

“It was my only option,” Riptide said, “I already banged my knee as an excuse to see her.”

Ravage’s mouth fell open. 

“You… what?”

“Banged my knee. On my berth. So I could visit the medibay.”

“That’s psychotic,” Ravage uttered.

“I’m in love.”

“Then go slam your servo in a sliding door, love bot. Give yourself another excuse to see her.”

Honestly he was glad, Riptide displaying this level of stupidity. It took the focus on pitying him.

“If I keep hurting myself on purpose she’ll get suspicious,” Riptide protested, “Or worse, she’ll think I’m an accident-prone clutz.”

“You mean an intentionally-prone clutz,” Ravage retorted, “Why don’t you engage her in conversation like a normal mech?”

“I can’t. My vocaliser gets all glitchy around her. When she was looking at my knee, all I did was nod or shake my helm when she asked me questions.”

“And normally you’re so witty,” Ravage huffed, “How do you expect to enter a relationship if you can’t speak to her?”

“I don’t know,” Riptide sighed, “Maybe I just need to get used to being around her. But I won’t find that out unless I… OOWWWW!”

Riptide reeled back, clutching the side of his arm where Ravage’s claws had shredded paint and dented plating.

“What the frag was that for?”

“One, because you’re stupid,” Ravage said evenly, “Two, now you have an excuse to visit the medibay.”

Riptide slowly broke into a wide grin. He stared at his ugly, superficial wound in delight.

“Thanks best friend.”

He took off down the hallway.

“I’m not your friend!” Ravage shouted after him, “I did it so you would leave me alone! Stupid Autobot.”


End file.
